She's like a star . . .

2010-09-15T21:02:00.000+08:00

s0metimes it just kills y0u inside when y0u realise that y0u are n0 l0nger friends with y0ur bestfriend just because 0f y0ur selfishness .
is it w0rth it ?
but its t00 late .

2010-09-15T11:04:00.002+08:00

s0metimes w0uld y0u d0 anything t0 get l0ve even if it is g0nna end up ruining y0ur reputati0n ?

2010-09-14T18:41:00.000+08:00

feelings 0f disapp0intments .
they are terrible .
when y0u trust s0me0ne and when they sh0w their true c0l0urs , its g0nna be fucked up .
empty pr0mises .
heartbreakings !
life teaches y0u al0t . s0metimes i just ch00se t0 repeat the same mistakes 0ver and 0ver again .
and i d0nt seem t0 be picking up myself again .
hmm .
like has t0 g0 0n n0 matter what

2010-08-30T22:19:00.000+08:00

T0m0r0w bukit bat0k sec0ndary sch00l w0uld be celebrating tacher's day celebrati0ns . hmm . i remember this day , where it is s0 exciting l00king at the perf0rmances and imp0rtantly sch00l finishing early . sighs . i seri0usly miss sec0ndary sch00l .

and i seri0usly miss her . . all t0 be blamed 0n me . 0n my jeal0usy . jeal0usy 0nli strikes when y0ur l0ved 0ne is g0ing away . but n0w l00king at it i feel s0 childish . back then , everyday i called her h0usef0ne and she kn0ws that by a few rings it w0uld be 0nly me . n0w we 0nli chat in msn .
i seri0usly fucking miss her s0 much . i always tell myself that i cann0t aff0rd t0 l0se her and right n0w . . . I've g0t n0thing t0 say .

0n the 18th birthday , i wished up0n the candles that i sh0uld never be parted fr0m her , and i am still wishing !

2010-05-09T10:39:00.000+08:00

this bl0g is n0t dead !

its jus that i had been either busy 0r t00 lazy .
s0 far life has been the same . n0thing much difference .
o am just enj0ying sch00l life right n0w .
i had regrets g0ing int0 simei .
but n0w i thank g0d f0r sh0wing me such w0nderful friends .
i n0e they w0nt last l0ng .
but i just wana create mem0rable m0ments with them .
il0vethem .
and
it is still hanging in a thin strand .
i just feel like giving up 0n her .
i wish we nvr parted .
if i had a wish i w-uld turn back time and treasure her .
i am s0rry .
f0r letting y0u d0wn .
istilll0vey0utwin .

AND
happy m0thers day .
thanks mummy f0r being there f0r me .
f0r helping me 0ut .
f0r safing me fr0m that m0nster .
il0ve y0u
i dun0 what w0uld i bec0me with0ut y0u .

2010-03-28T21:48:00.000+08:00

am back fr0m d0ing the health screening .
s0 tired
am n0t g0ing w0rk t0m0r0w !
i kn0w that i need a rest and it is a must . .

lately he is disturbing me .
i keep thinking ab0ut the past .
the t0rture i went thr0ugh
the abuses .
sighs .
it is s0 difficult f0r me t0 f0rget and m0ve 0n .
fuck him f0r it .
when he was there , was als0 a pr0blem .
when he is n0t its still a pr0b .

2010-03-25T16:28:00.002+08:00

i pierced my t0ngue !!!!

2010-03-23T19:36:00.002+08:00

current 0bsessi0n : jeeva !

2010-03-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

first thing !

my 100th p0st .

0kay .
n0w back t0 sch00l .
preparing f0r year 2 is n0t an easy task . especially f0r sl0w learners like me .
its s0 hard .
but i am still persistent .

any updates ?
errm . n0 . still the same . .
mummy's birthday yesterday !
thank y0u mummy f0r all y0u have d0ne t0 me .
th0ugh there are times where y0u can irritate me ,
at the end 0f the day i still l0ve y0u and i cant d0 with0ut y0u !

and i am excited f0r thursday .
g0nna d0 s0mething which i have been wanting f0r the past 3 years !

2010-02-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

kinda excited ab0ut y0g .

but lets just wait and see .

she gave me back my l0gb00k and the grades f0r the year 0ne p0sting .

i g0t a B .

i badly wanted a B but i th0ught i w0uld end up getting a C .

but by g0d's grace .

thank g0d !

and i jus g0t g00d news fr0m kirthi and akka .

my 2.1 CA w0uld be ms lang !

she is the m0st nicest teacher i have ever seen in my life !

thank g0d again f0r getting her .

and i h0pe the news is true .

since ytd i have been thinking ab0ut g0in p0ly .

and i made up my mind .

with the help 0f smitha i have set the path .

finish my ite with a g00d GPA .

w0rk as a EN f0r a year and s0 .

d0 2 years in nyp(*when i was d0in 0's , i badly wanted t0 g0 der)

be a staff nurse . and

0f c0urse be a ward sister .

being a ward sister is s0 c00l .

i kn0w pe0ple laugh at me when i say that i want t0 be a sister .

but it is s0mething which reallly inspires me al0t .

f0r example sister siva and sister julianah .

they are s0 nice .

i want t0 be like them .

but first let me d0 well in ite .

i am n0t g0nna let any 0ther things distract me f0r a year .

am fully g0ing t0 c0ncentrate in my studies f0r this 0ne year .

2010-02-22T18:16:00.002+08:00

and c0nfidant i kinda miss y0u !
i am s0rry if i have hurt y0ur feelings !

2010-02-22T18:16:00.000+08:00

0kay it has been t00 silent f0r awhile .
dint bl0g f0r awhile cause mainly i was t00 lazy .
s0 lets see any updates ?
ahhh . g0t a c0uple 0f new entries f0r the m0nth 0f february !
lets see h0w l0ng this g0nna last .
and 0uh ya i have a clear decis0n .
like i kn0w what i am d0ing .
and i cant be b0thered by hyp0crites wh0 g0es talking behing my back .
and attachment is g0in sm00thly .
i jus cant wait f0r it t0 finish and g0 back sch00l !
i miss sch00l and my sch00l friends .
and after that my h0lidays .
i g0nna pierce my t0ngue during the h0lidays .
s0mething which i have been waiting t0 d0 since y0ung ,
i have tried t0 qiut sm0king but i still fail .
and 0kay lah . n0thing much
still the same .

2010-02-13T11:24:00.002+08:00

i n0e i t00k the wr0ng decisi0n .
having my regret right n0w .
but its t00 late .

2010-02-09T11:04:00.000+08:00

i have decided !
this is what i want .
and i am n0t g0nna ask f0r pe0ple's suggesti0ns .
and if this is wr0ng i will face face the c0nsequences .

syg i miss y0u .
ilikey0u.

s0metimes its better 0ff t0 be l0nely .
because i am used t0 it .

2010-02-01T22:49:00.000+08:00

f0r the past tw0 days have been drinking heavily and sm0king heavily .
fuck !
i need myself back .
its jus that i miss y0u al0t .
i d0 regret !
but what t0 d0 ?
its t00 late .

but dear i really d0 miss y0u ! al0t .

2010-01-31T12:58:00.000+08:00

0kays .
thaipusam fever is 0ver .
weeh00 .
saw al0t 0f pe0ple .
anyways Medical 1.2 is 0ver .
0nly left with surgical 1.2 .
cant wait f0r it t0 end and get my ass d0wn t0 sch00l .
i am missing sch00l s0 much right n0w . and especially sch00l friends .
anyways s0 many things have happened ar0und me .
i guess its f0r g00d .
am missing prakash al0t .
he has a new gf .
regrets . nahh !
g0nna meet sita m0ksha and impact later .
i was wr0ng ab0ut them .
i realised 0nli if y0u place y0urself in their sh0es y0u will n0e why is it s0 reas0nable .
andd . .
i am missing twin t00 .
have n0t met f0r a l0ng time .
guess 0nce there is a drift its hard t0 rej0in it back .
and i need t0 sm0ke right n0w !!!

c0ntr0lling f0r the past tw0 days !

2010-01-26T10:50:00.001+08:00

have been busy f0r the past few days . .
getting ready f0r aftern00n shift .
my last week in ward 74 .
cant wait t0 g0 back t0 ward 57 .

anyways thaipusam c0ming saturday .

fasting fr0m thursday 0nwards .

excited 0s0 .

saw nancy yesterday .

haahas

she was s0 shy 0f me .

and i was s0 shy 0f her t00 .

n0nsense .

2010-01-23T14:18:00.000+08:00

i have decided t0 quit the part time j0b .

initially i was 0kay with it . but this is t00 tiring and they are treating me like shit .

i intend t0 find an0ther j0b .

s0mething which i am c0mf0rtable with and eager t0 g0 w0rk .

i am like dreading t0 g0 t0 this w0rk .

save me please .

2010-01-21T18:05:00.000+08:00

her name is nancy .
she is twentynine years 0ld .
she is s0ft , gentle and sweet .
Quiet and a very reserved type .
the first w0man that i am attracted t0 .
i am n0t changing !
i am still straight .
but she just makes me feel s0 nice .
i jus wish i can be like her .
she is n0t a beauty in her image .
but with0ut kn0wing her , i n0e she is the w0rld beauty in her pers0nality !
i seri0usly just wish that i can be as s0ft as her .
a true example t0 be like a lady !

2010-01-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

i believe that if my day starts h0rrible , it will last thr0ugh 0ut the day .
and t0day it was like that .
and i hate it when my mum sc0lds me 0r sh0ws me attitude bef0re i leave the h0use .
i just hate t0 cry in the m0rning .
but t0day s0me0ne made me cry early in the m0rning in the h0spital !

g00d thing i d0nt have w0rk in the evening . if n0t w0nder what w0uld have happened between me and manager !

s0 pe0ple please try t0 make smile early early m0rning . make me happy !

2010-01-19T19:07:00.000+08:00

Schedule & Prices

0ne way trip fr0m sp0re t0 malacca .

Daily Departure Coach Ticket from Kovan Express Terminal

Departure Time :

8 am , 1.00 pm & 7 pm (Sun - Thu) Price: $16

8 am , 1.30 pm & 7 pm (Fri - Sat) Price: $18

Eve & Public Holiday Price: $22

8 am , 1.30 pm & 7 pm

Pickup & Alight Points:

Kovan Express Terminal

s0me0ne please bring me !
actually i w0uld 0nli wanna g0 with l0ve !
sighs .
s0 much 0f imaginati0ns !
cant wait !

2010-01-16T13:22:00.000+08:00

this lady has been s0 busy and tired .

i started w0rk yesterday .

haahas .

since it was first day and i was s0 new t0 the envir0nment i was superb sl0w and blur .

th0ugh at times the manager g0t angry with me she underst00d me .

which was g00d .

but i cann0t be a s0t0ng f0r l0ng .

haahas .

t0day 0s0 g0t w0rk .

later in the evening !

but i am fucking tired .

i mean it sia .

any0ne wana send me back h0me later ?

it feels s0 l0nely t0 travel back al0ne in the night .

2010-01-13T10:53:00.000+08:00

g0nna head 0ff t0 aftern00n shift s00n .

really feeling very tired . .

but even thr0ugh all this busy time , i am missing l0ve .

i jus h0pe t0 have it s00n . .

i wanna sing s0ngs t0 l0ve .

haahas . start living my imaginary life in reality with l0ve .

abd thanks t0 friends wh0 are satisfying the needs 0f l0ve .

i am having fun .

and i am n0t g0nna let any0ne ruin this happiness f0r n0w .

and t0 c0nfidant :
i really am n0t b0thered ab0ut y0u !!
since y0u are s0 interested in my life , jus read it , give y0ur c0mments and leave .
i am n0t g0nna reply t0 y0u and y0ur c0mments .
already certain pe0ple are irritating my life .
s0 pls d0nt be a add 0n 0kayy .

2010-01-12T10:21:00.000+08:00

am feeling s0 tired .
must g0 w0rk later . .

2010-01-12T10:19:00.001+08:00

kirthi just asked me a questi0n .

u like anyone now??

haahas . i d0nt like any0ne pe0ple .
i am just living in my fantasy w0rld and dreaming ab0ut my prince .

waiting f0r him t0 c0me !

2010-01-11T10:31:00.000+08:00

M0nday : aftern00n shift at sgh

Tuesday : aftern00n shift at sgh

Wednesday : aftern00n shift at sgh

Thursday : m0rning shift at sgh and evening v0lunteer w0rk at temple

Friday : m0rning shift at sgh , chinat0wn t0 get kirthi's present , starting first day 0f w0rk !

Saturday : m0st pr0bably will have w0rk , meeting kavitha , m0kkx , packxx , sita .

Sunday : m0rning v0lunteer w0rk at temple and n0rt sure ab0ut evening .

M0nday : m0rning shift at sgh .

h0w nice . s0 busy eh ?

n0nsense . and i am missing s0me things right n0w .

2010-01-10T22:31:00.002+08:00

changed my url !

cause i f0und 0ut wh0 the c0nfidant was !

s0 irritating !

g0 get a life girl !

2010-01-10T18:48:00.000+08:00

y0u think it is p0ssible f0r me t0 c0mplete all this by 31 december 2010 ?

i think if i have al the time and m0ney it is p0ssible !

2010-01-10T17:20:00.001+08:00

t0day's p0st g0es t0 all the ex girlfriends wh0 will irritate the life 0f the current girlfriend :D

0kiie s0 ex gfs can y0u all first get this in t0 y0ur fucking brains ?

"" y0u are an ex already ""

i mean get it 0ver lah . n0 use distubing the current 0ne .

please lah .

what makes y0u think he wana c0me back t0 y0u . he already left y0u cause y0u arent perfect what .

get a life girl .

s0 irritating when i think ab0ut this girls .

y0u are a girl . sh0uldnt y0u understand h0w the current girl w0uld feel if y0u are disturbing her .

if i want , i can name y0u all . but it w0uld be embarasing f0r y0u all .

my bestfriend went 0n with this guy , MrAbu . and his ex gf was haunting my bff and was s0 kayp0h in finding ab0ut her life . Miss Anisah , eventually they br0ke up . y0u must be happy . but y0u d0nt realise that he is n0t back with y0u and he is with an0ther girl , nvm , that is a cl0sed chapter anyways .

lily's ex guy's current gf ms priya is like kinda b0asting t0 lily .

aiyah pls lah .

lily bf is s0 much betta .

the list will jus c0ntinue and c0ntinue .

i d0nt want t0 g0 0n .

my bp 0nly rising ,

i jus wana y0u t0 n0e st0p being evil .

y0u all deserve a better guy 0kay ?

s0 cheer up and lead a healthy life .

and t0 the current gfs , i think its n0t g00d if y0u keep p0king the ex gf lah .
will y0u like it ?
he is with y0u cause he thinks y0u are better than his ex gf .
s0 d0nt be l0w by p0king her .

i am trying t0 be neutral here .
i just want every0ne t0 be happy . h0pe y0u all were change

2010-01-09T11:12:00.001+08:00

0ut 0f the eight wishes that i have wished f0r , tw0 has been granted .

hmm yesh , i g0t a part time j0b .

n0w that i have a j0b , i will have m0ney f0r my license .

s0 yah its kind a g00d starting . and i h0pe this c0ntinues thr0ugh 0ut the year .

and 0uh yah i f0rg0t t0 say that i st0pped having dreams ab0ut ravi .

it makes me feel s0 much better .

hmm

this wh0le week has been tiring due t0 attachment .

its saturday and i w0ke up at 8 plus .

i felt like killing myself f0r waking up s0 early .

i c0uldnt get back t0 sleep n0 matter h0w much i f0rced myself .

s0 i just came 0nline .

n0thing much t0 update ab0ut my life .

maybe next week .

0uh yah .

i am in l0ve with my hair .

th0usands 0f pe0ple d0 agree that reb0nded hair makes me l00k better ,

haahas .

w00h00 !

0kiies

g0t t0 g0 and meet friends .

2010-01-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

and
did i menti0n that life's g00d !
especially when y0u realise pe0ple actually l0ve y0u f0r s0me reas0n .

2010-01-05T22:06:00.000+08:00

just w0ke up .

was superb tired .

but i want t0 menti0n s0mething at this p0int 0f time .

i am l0ving my j0b .

as in right n0w i d0nt regret why did i ch000se this c0urse .

yesh !

nursing is a very t0ugh j0b .

i agree .

it can be nerve cracking .

but at the end 0f the day , when the patient smiles at y0u and thanks y0u with all his/her heart , it makes me feel s0 inspired .

I can f0rget h0w fussy and irritating the patient was a few minutes ag0 .

anyway en0ugh with my pr0fessi0n .

prakash is back .

actually he was back l0ng time ag0 .

its jus that i din talk ab0ut him .

he asked f0r f0rgiveness 0n New Year's eve .

and sweet talked a little .

as usual i started t0 melt .

expected !

and he t0ld me h0w he feel and why he said such bad things t0 me .

he had his reas0ns .

and i felt that it was reas0nable s0 i talked t0 him . hmm .

and darshan is back t00 .

he t00 said s0rry .

haahas .

but darshan is a little excepti0n .

i d0nt think i will f0rgive him that easily f0r what he had d0ne t0 me in the past .

0kiee , g0nna watch tv and sleep .

t00 sleepy and tired .

t0m0r0w is an0ther day 0f m0rning shift . .

2010-01-04T20:11:00.000+08:00

04January2010
first day 0f attachment hmm .
as usual expected t0 be a little tired .
but a new ward . new envir0nment . feels very new and interesting .
but still cant wait f0r my attachment t0 finish .
missing my h0lidays .
hmm .
t0m0r0w m0rning shift . .

2010-01-03T18:25:00.000+08:00

03January2010

attachment is starting t0m0r0w .

n0t excited ab0ut it .

but i am a little happy that atleast i w0uld be n0 l0nger r0tting at h0me .

hmm .

there is s0methings g0ing thr0ugh my head n0w .

actually al0t 0f things .

mainly ab0ut life .

i am scared .

t0 gr0w up .

cause i understand that an adult has al0t 0f resp0nsiblities .

actually i will have t0 start t0 take care 0f myself .

that is g0nna be the hardest thing cause i am t0 dependent .

i cant even buy f00d al0ne .

i am scared t0 travel al0ne .

and i am scared t0 be al0ne .

but i am preparing myself f0r all this .

i d0nt need pe0ple .

actually certain pe0ple .

i have decided t0 give pri0rity t0 pe0ple wh0 makes me as 0ne 0f thier pri0rity .

2010-01-02T22:59:00.002+08:00

and i wish girls will st0p placing their b0yfriend as the first pri0rity and give m0re imp0rtance t0 the friends .

2010-01-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

what a day .
pheww .
started 0ff well .
0ne 0f my wishes in the wish list has been granted .
i called mahen . he answered we talked .
i was very excited .
but after we talked , i realised that he was jus talking t0 me with the h0pe 0f me r0mancing with him .
but f0r g00dness sake , he has a gf .
nvm .
i am jus happy that i g0t t0 talk t0 him . and after that my prata man is back w0hh00 .
and then sita and m0ksha called me 0ut . since i was s0 free , i agreed .
m0ksha has a l0rry .
he fetched us and went t0 fetch impact .
hmm saw pradeep . i miss him s0 much . .
and the f0ur 0f us l0rriied t0 henders0n waves .
its was my first time being there . and trust me .
the place is damn nice .
we were playing ar0und , singing s0ngs , dancing and 0f c0urse taking ph0t0s .
haahas . impact was the star lahh .
den we l0rried back since it was time f0r me t0 g0 h0me .
sighs .
i wishes i c0uld stay l0nger .
but mummy wil sh0ut .
i jus cant wait t0 start enj0ying my night life .
am s0 tired n0w .
will upl0ad the pics s00n .
takecare .

2009-12-31T22:59:00.000+08:00

2009

this is the year where i learnt al0t 0f things ab0ut pe0ple . begining 0f the year was a very painful 0ne . did a mistake which i will regret thr0ugh 0ut my entire life . I trusted pe0ple wh0m i sh0uldnt even have trusted . I ch0se a b0yfriend 0ver friends and family . A b0yfriend wh0m was abusive in b0th physically and verbally . but i g0t 0ver him after a l0ng struggle with al0t em0ti0ns and stress .

its during that time i did n0t d0 well f0r 0 levels and ended up entering ite simei ch00sing nursing c0urse . i th0ught life was 0ver and i will definetly bec0me influenced . but i was wr0ng . i met a l0t 0f new friends in sch00l . i g0t t0 realised that there were pe0ple suffering fr0m w0rst pr0blems then me and i g0t inspired by the way h0w they c0uld handle the pr0blems . i had al0t 0f quarrels 0ver my friend due t0 jeal0usy . we had drifted apart since then . th0ugh we are still cl0se i n0e it aint like last time . but i am 0kay with it . this is the year where a friend bastard me 0ver a guy . and i ended up being n0t myself . i g0t inv0lved in drinking , sm0king , fighting and even sniffing glue . but i g0t 0ver it . and i am happy . as i sit here thinking ab0ut this last day 0f this year i am smiling . i have 0verc0med al0t 0f fear and stress . i have gained strength and kn0wledge ab0ut the pe0ple ar0und me . And my mum t00 went al0t this year due t0 me and her sibling . and i am amazed by her strength t00 .

i even th0ught ab0ut ending my life this year . but i am happy i din ch00se such a decisi0n cause he wasnt w0rth my life . at the same time , Nursing has th-ught me alt 0f patience . i even learnt t0 endure pain .

i have cried al0t and i h0pe 2010 w0uld be a better year f0r me .

with that i say g00dbye t0 2009 .

2009-12-30T22:30:00.000+08:00

Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my husband").
This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.
Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

2009-12-28T16:48:00.000+08:00

28 december 2009

3 m0re days .

prepared my res0luti0n list ady .

haahas.

and my wish list ady .

will p0st it s00n .

anyways i r0b0nded my hair yesterday .

feel s0 different .

s0 straight unlike myself

haahas.

i kinda regretted cutting fringe

but nvm .

g0nna g0 0ut with mummy s00n . s0 shall bl0g later .

2009-12-26T20:41:00.000+08:00

prakash : i called t0 tell y0u s0methin imp0rtant

Nithiya: what ? what isit ?

prakash : d0 y0u have atleast any intenti0n in talking t0 me

Nithiya : n0 . n0 intenti0ns . why ?

Prakash : i d0nt understand y0u at all .

Nithiya : i nvr asked y0u t0 understand me what !

Prakash : y0u think 0f me l0wly jus because i call y0u everytime ryte

Nithiya : n0 . if i think l0wly . i w0uldnt even have answered at all

Prakash : y0u n0e what ? y0u are the w0rst girl 0n earth

Nithiya : what did i d0 n0w ?

Prakash : y0u d0nt n0e h0w t0 sh0w l0ve ! y0u are mental

Nithiya : st0p it !

Prakash : y0u like rema sen . y0u think that even a guy all can l0ve y0u ryte

Nithiya : prakash i say st0p it .

Prakash : y0u are mental .

Nithiya : y0u have n0 rights t0 talk ab0ut me !

Prakash : y0u will nvr get a guy in this birth .

Nithiya : silent all the way . . .

Prakash : mark my w0rds n0w . even if any guy l0ves y0u , he will defintly leave y0u f0r y0ur stupid character . y0u are mental ! g0 and see a psychatrist first . n0w y0u sh0uld n0e why y0ur ex leave y0u .

its because 0f y0ur attitude . i will nvr ever call y0u again

g00dbye .

he hung up the f0ne !

d0 i have s0me pr0blem?

am i really mad ?

i swear i was freaking hurt and am still hurt .

n0 0ne has ever said such a thing t0 my except f0r ravi . ravi is excepti0nal because 0f his character .

but n0w that a friend have said such a thing i am begining t0 think .

seri0usly i din wan t0 cry .

but i c0uldnt help myself.

i jus sat d0wn and cried al0t .

even when i am typing this n0w i am tearing .

what wr0ng did i d0 ?

is it my attitude ?

but i th0ught i am a really g00d gf .

th0se wh0 were cl0se t0 me sh0uld n0e ab0ut me .

i am jus fucking hurt .

2009-12-26T18:22:00.000+08:00

i cant even express my feelings in my bl0g cause i will start menti0ning names and will end up having pr0blems with them . Maybe i sh0uld change my url . hmm .

0r i am thinking 0f st0p bl0gging .

2009-12-26T14:07:00.001+08:00

AnbeSivam

2009-12-25T13:39:00.000+08:00

l0ng relati0nships .

recently a friend 0f mine br0ke up with her guy .

they were t0gether f0r five years .

0r sh0uld i say he dumped her .

0ver a misunderstanding .

he said he will get married t0 an0ther gal and hung up 0n her .

he din think h0w w0uld she feel aite ?

f0r the past five years , she din let g0 0f him despite them having pr0bems .

she l0ved him like crazy .

and i belive he did t00 .

but whr has all the l0ve he had f0r her g0ne n0w ?

he jus made full use 0f her which is quite clear .

he sp0ilt her life n0w .

h0w will she gain trust 0n 0ther men f0r her future .

s0me l0vers c0mmit suicide when their 3 mths 0f relati0nship is 0ver .

jus imagine the pain that l0ng relati0nship h0lders g0 th0rugh .

m0re mem0ries t0gether .

i jus l0st the trust 0n men n0w .

i nvr hear any men g0in crazy 0ver their gf .

0nli in the m0vies it happen .

whats wr0ng with y0u guys .

y0u men are jus h0rrible creatures sent fr0m ab0ve t0 suck w0men's life .

learn t0 treasure y0ur lady .

she is unique .

she nvr expects anything fr0m y0u except f0r jus pure true l0ve .

every tear she sheds , is a sin f0r y0u men i belive .

i truly believe in karma .

whats g0es ar0und will c0me ar0und .

and st0p sp0iling w0men name . y0ur mum is a lady t00 .

and i d0nt wan any0ne t0 c0mment 0n this p0st .

its my 0pini0n

if y0u d0nt like it [mainly guilty cause y0u're a man] den i suggest

y0u st0p reading and g0 and get a life .

2009-12-23T20:11:00.000+08:00

hmm .

i jus feel that i am the m0st useless thing 0n earth !

2009-12-21T15:51:00.000+08:00

This is for the girls who thought they were special. Or the girls who didn’t think about the repercussions of their actions. The girls who laid down, parted their legs and felt special for the night. The same girls who found themselves pregnant and alone. The same girls who know who their child’s father is, know where he is and know he doesn’t want anything to do with them.

These same guys are never worth your time. You might think they are worth your child’s time. But they didn’t care when they had you in their bed, same ways they don’t care now you have their child. Rely on the people you can depend on - family, friends, your new relationships. Don’t dwell on the no good males who donated their sperm with no interest thereafter.

Don’t be fooled into thinking the older they are, the more responsible they are. A guy can be irresponsible as long as he wants to be from 12 - 82.

Make the most of your life with your child. Make it the best life possible. Be happy that they are your child. And knowing that you can provide them with all the love your capable of giving.

You love them and that is all that matters

2009-12-21T13:12:00.002+08:00

~~w0ah life's g00d !~~

2009-12-20T22:01:00.001+08:00

My Personality

I’m loud.

~~I’m sarcastic.~~

~~I’m cocky.~~

I cry easily.

I have a bad temper.

~~For the most part, I don’t like people.~~

I’m easy to get along with.

~~I like to fight.~~

~~I have more enemies than friends.~~

I’ve smoked.
~~I’ve smoked weed.~~

I drink coffee.

I clean my room daily.

My Appearance

I wear makeup

I wear a piece of jewellery at all times.

I wear contacts.

I wear glasses.

~~I’ve had braces.~~

~~I have braces.~~

I change my hair color often.

~~I straighten my hair often.~~

My ears are pierced.

~~I have small feet.~~

Relationships

~~I’m in a relationship now.~~

I’m single.

~~I’m crushin’.~~

I’ve missed an ex before.

I’m always scared of being hurt.

An ex has physically abused me at least once.

I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.

I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

I’ve been in love more than two times.

I believe in love at first sight.

~~I believe lust is more important than love.~~

Friendships

I have a best friend.
I have at least ten friends.

I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.

I’ve beaten up a friend.

I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.

~~I can trust at least five people with my life.~~

Experiences

I’ve been on a plane.

I’ve been on a train.

I’ve left the state/province.

~~Someone close to me has died.~~

I’ve taken a taxi.

I’ve taken a city bus.

I’ve taken a school bus.

~~I’ve gone bungee jumping.~~

I’ve made a speech.

~~I’ve been in some sort of club.~~

I’ve won an award.

~~I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.~~

I’ve been in a physical fight.

Music

~~I listen to country.~~

I listen to some pop.

I listen to techno.

~~I listen to rock.~~

~~I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it.~~

~~I hate the radio.~~

I download music.

~~I buy CD’s.~~

Television

I spend at least six hours a day watching television.

~~I watch soap operas daily.~~

I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
I’ve seen and like The OC.

~~I’ve seen and like One Tree Hill.~~

I’ve seen and like America’s Next Top Model.

~~I’ve seen and like Popular.~~

I’ve seen and like House.

~~I’ve seen and like 24.~~

I’ve seen and like CSI.

~~I’ve seen and like Everwood.~~

Family Life

~~I get along with both of my parents.~~

~~My biological parents are still together.~~

~~I have at least one brother~~.
I have at least one step brother/sister.

I have at least one half brother/sister.

~~I’ve been kicked out of the house.~~

~~I’ve ran away from my home.~~

~~I’ve sworn at my parents.~~

I’ve made my parents cry.

I’ve lied to my parents.

I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.

I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.

I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.

~~I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.~~

Hair

I’ve cut my hair in the past year.

I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.

~~I’ve been blonde.~~

I’ve had black.

~~I’ve been red.~~

I’ve been light brown.

I’ve been medium brown.

I’ve been brown.

~~I’ve had streaks.~~

I’ve had purple/pink.
I’ve been blue/green.

I’ve gotten my hair thinned.

I use conditioner.

~~I’ve used silk therapy.~~

~~I’ve used hot oil treatments.~~

~~I’ve curled my hair.~~

I’ve straightened my hair.

I’ve ironed my hair.

~~I’ve braided my hair.~~

~~I’ve had/want dreadlocks.~~

School

~~I’ve thrown something at a teacher.~~

I’ve yelled at a teacher.

~~I’ve been suspended.~~

~~I’ve had an in-school suspension.~~

I’ve been sent to the principal’s office.

I’ve walked out of class.

I’ve skipped an entire day of school.

I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.

I’ve failed a test.
I’ve cheated on a test.

I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.

~~I’ve failed Art.~~

~~I’ve failed P.E.~~

I’ve failed Math.

I’ve failed Science.

I’ve failed another class.

A teacher has called my parents.

I’ve been caught skipping.

2009-12-19T19:40:00.000+08:00

All i'm asking for is one night together.Just you and me all alone under a starry sky and if you can honestly say you don't feel anything for me after that night,i will finally let you go.

2009-12-19T18:23:00.001+08:00

n0w i am n0 l0nger irritated !

i am such in a g00d m00d .

y0u n0e why /

haahas

i am watching the m0vie kadhal .

w0ah .

s0 nice the l0ve feeling .

i am like g0in inside the m0vie .

haahas .

i n0e that y turn will c0me s00n .and i am waiting .

haahas .

y0u can nvr understand w0men.

0ne sec they can be irritated .

the next sec high in l0ve .

thats the special thing ab0ut us .

0r rather ab0ut me !

whee . .

2009-12-19T17:36:00.000+08:00

i am jus s0 irritated right n0w .

its saturday aftern00n and i am r0tting at h0me .

whats the use 0f having friends .

its always when they need me , den they will fnd f0r mie .

but when they have their plans , they w0nt even b0ther inf0rming me .

s0 fucked up .

i am callin s0 many 0f them .

and they are all 0ut !

either with their guy 0r their frens .

if they g0nna find me next time ar0und , i am n0t g0in 0ut with them .

i am n0t a t0y f0r y0u t0 play with when y0u need entertainment .

s0 irritated !

2009-12-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

whats the use 0f being pretty ? Still the guy that y0u liked dint like y0u .
whats the use 0f being high pr0file ? still the guy that y0u liked , dumped y0u .
whats the use 0f being h0t ? the guy that y0u liked dint even accept y0u .
whats the use 0f being cute ? the guy wh0m y0u realli liked , dint even have the feeling t0wards y0u .
whats the use 0f having a g00d bf ? the guy that y0u l0ved dint even l00k at y0u .
whats the use 0f y0u l0ving y0ur bf s0 much ? y0ur bf is 0nli using y0u f0r m0ney .
these are the things happening t0 the pe0ple ar0und me .
and when i l00k at it , i am afraid .
i pity myself and the 0thers ar0und me !

2009-12-17T20:58:00.002+08:00

i jus came back fr0m swimming !

w00h00 !

went with farhana , fareed , fazeela akka and fareed's friend .

s0 fun t0 swim .

feel like akid .

had s0 much 0f fun at the lazy p00l !

hmm .

but am feeling s0 tired n0w .

2009-12-17T12:53:00.000+08:00

Always and forever

You will be my dream come true,

The one I have waited for all these years.

From now until the end of time,

I will love only you.

We will be together always.

2009-12-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

B0red !

2009-12-14T10:33:00.000+08:00

the 0ne wh0 will listen t0 me despite me talking n0nsense .

the 0ne wh0 will listen t0 my h0rrible singing .

the 0ne wh0 will imagine with me .

the 0ne wh0 will fight me and sayang me back .

the 0ne wh0 will n0t abuse me .

the 0ne wh0 will fight f0r me with mr ex .

the 0ne wh0 will say she is mine t0 his frens .

the 0ne wh0 will l0ve me f0r what i am .

the 0ne wh0 will say i am the cutest despite an indian h0t girl standing infr0nt 0f him .

the 0ne wh0 will take care 0f me when i am sick .
the 0ne wh0 is very patient .
the 0ne wh0 d0nt mind waiting f0r me even if i take h0urs .
the 0ne wh0 will be with my life l0ng .
the 0ne that i will nvr get sick and tired 0ff .
the 0ne that i l0ve s0 much .
the 0ne wh0 will marry me .
and the 0ne wh0 will die beside me .

is that t00 much 0f expectati0ns ?
i n0e it is .
but i jus cant help it .

i jus l0ve that mysteri0us unkn0wn future husband 0f mine s0 much .
i wana marrry him in f0ur years time !
give birth t0 that 2 kids !
g0 0uttin with besties and her husband !
i have s0 much 0f plans ready !
everythin is ready !
~~jus that y0u are missing !~~

2009-12-11T21:30:00.000+08:00

twinl0ve .

its back !

and i am s0 happy .

met her jus n0w .

talked talked talked .

i swear i felt like being back t0 myself .

den twin , i , mummy went t0 westmall .

haahas .

b0ught lipstick .

s0 girly !

twin ch0se the c0l0ur f0r me .

den after mummy left ,

i and she wen t0 the carpark and talked again !

s0 much 0f things sia .

Farhana i l0ve y0u s0 much !

n0 0ne can replace y0u !!

baybee !

we are back in t0wn ,

things are g0nna be happening again !

and this time ar0und

2010

w0uld be a splendid year f0r us !

i h0pe .

2m0r0 might be meeting her .

and i am s0 excited !

2009-12-10T22:09:00.000+08:00

and i jus g0t reminded ab0ut ravi !

t0 ravi :

y0u are s0 happy with y0ur new girl !

lets jus see h0w l0ng she will last with y0u !

muaahaahs .

and i heard she is a s0cial esc0rt .

hmm .

even m0re better !

d0nt w0rry .

she w0nt mind y0u sleeping with 0ther girls .

kekekeke

and i am very sure i will see y0u d0wn the r0ad 0ne day !

s0 enj0y n0w itself .

cause y0u g0nna sufffer in future !

2009-12-10T21:45:00.001+08:00

10december2009

timecheck : 9.31 PM

hmm .

this wh0e week d0ing w0rk at sch00l .

w0rk very very slack !

haahas .

s0 i watched 3 m0vies t0day !

1. Ninathalae inikum

2. Athae neram Athae edam

3.Kaaka kaaka

s0 nice !!

haahas .

i wan a guy like the shakthi fel00w !

wh0 behaves like the p0lice surya

and sings like dhilip varman .

i n0e i t00 much ady .

hmm .

s0 everything is ready !

i am ready !

l0cati0n ready !

situati0n s0ng ready !

l0ads and l0ads 0f l0ve ready !

jus need my guy !

s0 any0ne interested ?

haahas .

and .

am starting t0 feel very l0nely .

whats the use 0f having al0t 0f frens ,

when y0u n0e that in reality y0u have n0 0ne !

and i am even m0re scared that time is flying fast .

like every0ne , i t00 wish f0r the w0rld n0t t0 end .

i wana get married , have kids , fight with my husband , l0ve him s0 much .

l0ve my kids all .

hmm .

lets all jus pray that the w0rld will n0t end s0 s00n !

2009-12-07T21:59:00.001+08:00

07 december 2009

that girl has a big eye 0n that guy .

sighs .

lily's g0d br0 .

haahas

thulasi raman !

freaking cute !

and wen i say it i mean it .

and last saturday i saw him .

wahh .

he l00k much better in real life .

melts ***

heard that he is a very g00d guy .

n0 ex gal at all .

can y0u all believe it .

hmm

sergent sum0re .

aasai than !

haaahas .

wish 0nli .

wad t0 d0 .

was t0king ab0ut him t0 every0ne during w0rk jus n0w .

haahas .

aasai than .

lols .

den wen fishing ,catchin prawns with c0ffin annae , lily , r0shni , leng and her bf .

quite fun and b0ring at times .

0n the way back h0me ,

i was telling r0shni h0w i want my future marriage t0 be h0ld .

haahas .

and she was like listening t0 me patiently !

at time yawning !

m0nkey !

haaahas .

and all the way i jus imagined the gr00m as Mr Thulasi Raman !

y0u cant blame me !

its a girl thing !

haahas .

2m0r0 g0in w0rk at sch00l !

s0 g0t g0 and sleep early !

t00dles !

and i am happily g0nna sleep dreaming ab0ut my thulasi raman !

2009-12-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

06December2009

jus came back h0me fr0m t0a pay0h .

t0m0r0w m0st pr0bably will be g0in t0 w0rk and den heading t0wards t0a pay0h .

might be g0in fishing with lily and c0ffin annae and guys . .

n0rt sure ab0ut plan . .

mummy and i n0rt talking cause i came back h0me late ytd .

haahas .

used t0 it .

by t0m0r0w sh0uld be alright .

i nidd m0ney !

t0p up ez link !

t0p up hp !

sighss .

0uhh yah .

i alm0st f0rg0t .

jus n0w wen i c0ming back in the train , i saw these 3 indian y0ung guys b0arding at w00dlands .

they l00ked g00d and sh0uld be ar0und in thier 20s .

they used sign language t0 talk t0 each 0ther .

i was like what the hell .

at the begining i th0ught they were jus f00ling ar0und using sign language .

but later 0n i realised that actually they were seri0us and d0nt l00ked like they were f00ling ar0und .

i g0t s0 interested in their c0nversati0n that i jus kept l00king at them .

they dint even mind that pe0ple were l00king at them .

it was like w0ah .

i had t0 c0ngrajulate their strength . .

and they g0t d0wn at bukit bat0k with me .

haaahs .

purp0sely walked sl0wly infr0nt 0f them .

suddenly they dissappeared .

h0pe t0 see them s00n .

its s0 fun t0 use such language .

n0 0ne w0uld want t0 be in thier sh0es .[deaf and dumb]

i w0uld thank g0d f0r giving me such perfect senses .

at the same time its g00d that certain pe0ple are b0rn with such disabilities .

its g00d that they are barred fr0m being in such a ugly w0rld .

2009-12-04T12:57:00.000+08:00

04 december 2009
jus came back fr0m temple .
waiting f0r r0shni t0 c0me back fr0m clementi den head t0wards t0a pay0h .

s0 i jus read s0me0ne's bl0g .

nvm its 0kiie .

i really cann0t be b0thered already .

i am 0nline .

that pers0n is als0 0nline .

but neither b0th 0f us are taking the initiative t0 say a simple hi .

it pains my heart .

all the fun we had .

all the ups and d0wns .

trying the wild things .

being the craziest and cutest pe0ple in t0wn .

its all g0ne n0w .

even sh0p ladies were asking us whther we were twins .

i remember even chandini's dad asking whether we are sisters ?

its jus hurts t00 much. .

all the imaginati0ns .

its all g0ne n0w .

the pr0blem started with sch00l .

den being cl0se with sch00l friends ,

den being att with a guy ,

den having pr0blem 0utside and n0t making her happy .

n0t spending time t0gether ,

it fucking hurts .

s0 many pe0ple were jeal0us 0f us

every0ne knew us as the l00su bestfriends .

we f0ught with 0ur parents jus f0r us .

i t0ld mr ex y0u are much m0re imp0rtant den him

if i had t0 sacrifice my life f0r s0me 0ne ,

y0u very well n0e that it will 0nli be f0r y0u !

n0w my sch00l frens mattters the m0st t0 me

and her sc00l frens matter t0 her .

and 0uh ya , her ex bestfriend is back t0 her ,

anyway i have t0 say s0rry cause i truly belive i was the reas0n

f0r y0u b0th t0 get seperated .

the pr0blem btw me and the stephanie .

i am s0rry.

buts its all 0kay n0w .

every0ne is happy with thier life n0w .

everything is perfect .

except f0r 0ne thing .

the cutest l00su twins are g0ne .

R.I.P

~~Twinl0ve~~

2004-2009

and i swear it fucking hurt me wen i was typing this .

tears were dr0pping 0n the keyb0ard.

can y0u feel the pain that i am feeling n0w ?

if y0u are my twin , i swear

atleast by n0w y0u sh0uld have shed a tear up0n reading this .

and i entirely take the blame f0r all this mess !

s0rry twin .

i have let y0u d0wn .

2009-12-03T22:21:00.000+08:00

fuck !

just n0t in the m00d

wanna meet jus t0 pass me m0ney !

is m0ney imp0rtant ?

fuck .

six years 0f friendship .

can jus put an end t0 it ?

it breaks my heart .

it w0uld have been better if y0u spit right at my face rather then saying that !

fuck !

where has the l0ve g0ne ?

i still l0ve her wad .

i n0e it hurts her .

but d0nt tell me y0u d0nt l0ve me anym0re !

fuck !

things are running thr0ugh my mind !

having headache !

fuck !

twin jus because 0f my eg0 and jeal0usy ,

i d0nt want t0 l0se y0u !

2009-12-02T21:40:00.000+08:00

02december2009

w0ke up by miss r0shnni !!

den went t0 clementi !

slacked at Mr prata sh0p

with her , ali and thariq !

den walked ar0und and lepaked under s0me bl0ck .

t00k bus t0 t0a pay0h .

slacked with lily , jc , c0ffin annae , ling and her bf .

den left h0me with r0shni !

2m0r0 m0rning meeting r0shni again !

g0in t0a pay0h !

haahas .

starting t0 like life at t0a pay0h .

w0uldnt want t0 l0se lily and gang .

cause i n0e that 0nce y0u l0se a fren ,

its hard t0 get h0ld 0f the pers0n again !

and i am s0rry .

i d0nt mean t0 av0id y0u .

its jus that i am n0t w0rth being y0ur bf .

i am a h0peless friend wh0m always get jeal0us .

but whatever the case is ,

i want y0u t0 n0e that

i still l0ve y0u my best friend !

2009-12-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

01 december 2009

time check : 9.29pm

back h0me .

bahavi0ural science paper was g00d !

was g0in in the train m0rnin .and saw this baby !

made me smille s0 much !

haahas .

they are jus s0 inn0cent .

wish every0ne c0uld transf0rm back int0 a baby .

i rather remain as a baby then , living as a gr0wn up lady

in this ugly w0rld .

hmm .

anyways .

am quite clear ab0ut things n0w .

whatever the case is , at times the bf bec0mes m0re imp0rtant den a friend.

i have learnt this fr0m quite a few pe0ple .

but i wish every0ne treated their friends m0re imp0rtant .

nvm .

that was my 0pini0n .

sch00ls finally 0ut .

3 weeks 0f vacati0n .

and h0spital attachment begins !

w00h00 !

2009-12-01T08:52:00.000+08:00

01december2009

hmm .

year g0nna end s00n !

w00h00 !

anyways ytd had clinical nursing exam !

did kinda 0kay 0nli .

if i pass i w0uld jus be happy . .

after that , i went t0 t0a pay0h with lily and r0shni .

slack with her makkals all .

den reached h0me at ab0ut 10:30

bath , sleep .

r0shni jus w0ke me up . g0t t0 g0 an dbath .

and leave t0 meet lily and r0shni and g0 t0 sch00l !!

wish me luck f0r my behavi0ural science !

~~and thulasi is damn cute !~~

2009-11-28T21:03:00.000+08:00

28 n0vember 2009 .

time check : 8.58pm

yes . my past was a ~~h0rrible~~ 0ne . was n0t a g00d girl .

but why isit that wen i want t0 change n0 0ne believes me ?

0ne by 0ne , why are y0u digging up my past unpleasent mem0ries .

having a terrible headache . .

2m0r0 m0rning , meeting sita and g0in t0 fatimah h0use t0 give papers and buy cigg fr0m her .

after that meeting twin and g0in b00n lay t0 find w0rk .

after that must study .

exam 0n m0nday and tuesday !

but s0 many things are giving me headache !

dear , i n0e that y0u like me al0t .

but s0metimes things w0nt always g0 the way h0w we want it t0 be !

d0nt w0rry . if its fated we will be t0gether .. .

if n0t i am s0rry t0 say . .

cause h0nestly y0u deserve a g0dd girl and n0t me . .

really want t0 quit sm0king .

but temptati0ns !

new skin

2009-11-27T16:57:00.000+08:00

s0 irritating new skins !

2009-11-26T20:50:00.000+08:00

26 n0vember2009
timecheck:9.41pm

at h0me ryte n0w . sch00l's 0fficially 0ver . vacati0n starting after papers . hmm .
was having a mini party after sch00l . . we ate and ate and ate . . muahaahaha . s0 much 0f ch0c0lates . . tsk . tsk !

den trained back h0me . and just slept . den w0ke up . .

am s0 excited f0r new year !!!!
dun00e why als0 !
and i cant wait t0 send grandparents t0 india . . they are realli getting 0n my nerves !
but i kn0w that i cant survive with0ut them .

hmm g0nna watch tv den g0 sleep . .
2m0r0 must study !!

dear i l0ve y0u .

and eplaining why is like telling h0w plain water tastes like .

its imp0ssible !

2009-11-24T09:21:00.000+08:00

24n0vember2009 . .
first 0f all its lily's birthday !
w00h00 . . happy 18th birthday margret !
finally y0u w0nt be caught by HSA !
we all can sm0ke freely !

next am in sch00l n0w . but n0t in class n0w ! urgh . . supp0sed t0 present pm t0 day ! but since my w0nderful r0shni haven c0me , i and lily in mlc ryte n0w . fbing and bl0gging . . hmm .

am s0 irritated with pr0ject management !
m0re with the teacher acutally . .

2m0re days . and thats it . sch00l is 0ver . vacati0n 3 weeks and clinical attachment !
hmm . realli n0t excited . .

in that n0te , 37 m0re days and 2010 is b0rn .
2009 has really been a h0rrible year . . mainly the year was sp0ilt by mr exb0yfriend .
h0pefully 2010 w0uld be a nicer year by bringing me new friends and l0ve . .
kekeke !!

2009-11-21T10:33:00.000+08:00

21 n0vember 2009 . .

0nce i w0ke up already , this is the first s0ng i heard . .

and its stuck in my mind . .

s0 early m0rning already in a g00d m00d .

later meeting kirthi , uma and usha . .

uma i can nvr f0rgive y0u lah . y0u jus keep repeating y0ur mistake . .

i really can00t be b0thered . .

anyways back t0 my l0ve s0ng . .

haahas . s0 mr l0ve faster c0me and find me . . s0 that we can sing that s0ng t0gether .

2009-11-20T18:21:00.000+08:00

i just miss y0u my best friend .
its my fucked up attitude that made me ended up l0sing y0u .
its my fucked up eg0 .
its my fucked up thinking .
its my fucked up c0uldnt care less attitude .
its me .
wh0 is being s0 fucked up .
what is wr0ng with me ? seri0usly .
i d0nt kn0w
realli having head pain already . .
i am cryingg s0 much .
can s0me0ne bring me t0 drink ?

sm0ke.drink.

2009-11-20T17:57:00.000+08:00

20n0vember2009

back h0me fr0m sch00l . .
as usual just r0tting at h0me . .

just n0w during sch00l , kirthi , and uma and i had a lil arguement . and kirthi was angry with uma . but sh0uted at me . and den i asked her , why did y0u sh0ut at me . and she said its because i d0nt talk back . and lily said i am a idi0t (illichavayiie) . .

0kie s0 n0w i realise why fatimah and every0ne vent their anger 0n me . . is it cause i d0nt talk back ?
but i am being like this cause i d0nt wan t0 be like last time . i will end up l0sing them if i were t0 talk back . . s0 being quiet d0esnt mean i am a idi0t . .

and i am just fucking irritated . why am i behaving like this ?
whats wr0ng with me ?
why am i l0sing pe0ple that really mean al0t t0 me ?
i n0e i am l0sing them and yet i d0nt make a eff0rt t0 h0ld dem back .
why am i being such a idi0t .
i am bec0ming mad . .

realli . if y0u can , jus push me 0ff the train track . and get it 0ver with . .

2009-11-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

19n0vember2009

went t0 sch00l and came back h0me . .
was chatting with kirthi and realised she did n0t have f00d at h0me . and since my h0use had extra f00d at h0me , i trained t0 khatib passed her the f00d and jus returned h0me . .
life is like fucking l0nely n0w .

n0 bestfriend beside n0w
n0 l0ve beside n0w .
mummy 0s0 n0t beside n0w . .

sighhss . .

have been sh00ting 0ut w0rds that are hurting pe0ple . . i am n0 l0nger talkin t0 the aunty . age makes a big difference wad . . had been hurting r0shni the day bef0re yesterday and we had a arguement . and made the decis0n n0t t0 talk t0 her like h0w i always d0 . cause s0me pe0ple jus d0 n0t adapt t0 my w0rds . .
0kiees . . am feeling very tired .. s0 wanna quit the new habit . . i n0e its wr0ng . and i am hurting myself . but this makes me feel g00d . .
and i am very sure that this time i am g0in in the bad way . but i cann0t be b0thererd . cause i realise i am t00 weak . b0th inside and 0utside . its all the fault 0f the new habit . .
MrL0ve and friends i am s0rry f0r hiding ab0ut it . .
and d0nt ask me ab0ut it . cause i am n0t g0nna tell y0u all what i am d0ing behind y0ur back . .

tired.sick.weak.addicted

if y0u can , take a gun and put it t0 my head and get it 0ver with . .

2009-11-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

i am behaving like a bitch .
but s0rry t0 hurt y0u .
cause i started t0 think practically !
i d0nt want t0 repeat the same mistake again !
i am st0ppin all my n0nsense with the effect 0f t0day !!!

2009-11-09T20:29:00.000+08:00

09N0v2009

the day itself did n0t star well !
mum mum mum !
m0ney matters are driving me crazy !!
went t0 sch00l !
g0t even m0re irritated wen i started having headache !
every0ne ar0und me was irritating me !
i can even share my pers0nal 0pini0ns . .
dey will jus have t0 tell it 0ut . .
and s0me0ne [ babygal] even 0rdered me n0t t0 bl0g ab0ut it !
like hell0 ?
its my bl0g !
my views !
y0u mean i d0nt even have the freed0m t0 express my views ?
h0w stupid 0f y0u t0 say such a thing !
g0t fucking pissed 0ff !
din sm0ke the wh0le day !
add 0n t0 the headache !
fingers trembled !
luckily leeza gave a stick !
sm0ked with lily and r0shni .
den trained back h0me !
0n the way fatimah started finding tr0uble with me !
aiy0 !
i jus wan t0 say i give y0u al0t 0f respect cause y0u are elder den me and y0u have helped me at times . but that d0esnt mean y0u can sh0w me attitude !
yah i n0e its my fault!
thats why i am n0t talking back t0 y0u !
but d0nt push the limit 0kayy !
damn stressed up . .
feeling s0 l0nely !
s0 need t0 talk t0 s0me0ne . but n0 0ne is here .
really wish that i have a sibling !

IRRITATING PE0PLE AND INCIDENTS AR0UND ME !

2009-11-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

06-11-2009

its friday !! last day 0f sch00l . hmm .
less0n learnt this week : think bef0re y0u talk and sh0ud nvr sh00t 0ut y0ur w0rds jus like that . . c0nsequences w0nt be nice . .

i d0nt want t0 sell this h0use away ! my mum is s0 keen in selling it !
it has been with me f0r the past 11 years . . n0thing is better den h0me !
i l0ve y0u h0me ! and my plants are n0t gr0wing well :(
sadd ...
2m0r0 g0ing aunty h0use f0r deepavali !!
wheee . .
cant wait t0 meet my bel0ved bunch 0f m0nkeys !
will p0st ph0t0s s00n !

2009-11-05T21:57:00.000+08:00

0kie mr rishi was 0nline !
s0 i t00k 10 mins jus t0 type a hi

den it t00k me s0 much 0f c0urage t0 send it
and within secs he replied hell0
and i[the stupidest girl 0n earth]replied him back . n0thin nvm !

h0w dumb can i get .
i seri0usly turned t0 the right and banged my head against the wall !
arghhhh !!!!!!

2009-11-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

05-11-2009

back h0me and 0nline . i did my part 0f the pr0ject alrdy . . whee . . s0 a lil free n0w . .
t0day w0ke up superb early . s0 irritating . take my 0wn sweet time t0 get ready and g0 t0 sk00l . .
first less0n clinical nursing !
n0thin much le . . den lla . . did the pr0ject thingy . . its c0min g00d s0 faar . !
den break time !!
my $2 went missing jus like that . s0 irritated ! haahas . .
den b0ught f00d and sat d0wn and t0ked . . stupid margret ! haahas . she and her n0nsense !
den f0m far mr rishi came and walked past us . sighs . dr00ls !!!
haahas . .
den pr0ceed t0 clinical nursing . kirthi t0ld me that naz t0ked t0 her lah . i was like freaking happy seh !!
like after 5 mths den 0nli he t0kin t0 her . . den lla again . aunty and i had pr0blem again ! aiy0 age d0es make a big difference ! she d0nt understand h0w i feel . but n0t her fault !
i am s0 s0rry aunty !

what else happened ?
ahhh . aiy0 . during lla , i g0 accidently break the styr0f0am seh . . haahas . funny ! i laughed until i cried !!!

tanahmerahint.sm0ke.train.

all the way with r0shni !
talked s0 much with her !
cute girl !
we jus kept talking ab0ut him ! haahas . s0 interesting !
she made me g0 crazy !

s0 l0nely . .
kirthi's pm has been disturbing me f0r the past 2 days . .
she said she had n0t used the w0rd amma f0r alm0st 2 yeaars .
den it made me realise that i have n0t even used the w0rd appa f0r the past 18 yrs . .
daddy whr are y0u ?
why did y0u leave me ?
i n0e that y0u are alryte s0mewhere 0ut there . .
will i ever get the chance 0f seeing y0u and hugging y0u ?
imissy0udaddy

2009-11-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

02-11-2009

w0ke up and left t0 sch00l . . .
had lla , den clinical nursing . . was learning ab0ut 0xygen . .
den went f0r break . . sm0ked . .
next less0n clinical nursing . . haahas . teacher gave 0ne h0ur break . den vicky msged me
after super l0ng and went missing again !
den went t0 behavi0ural science . . .
was in the audit0rium having lecture . . den skallin i and r0shni end up having fight 0ver 0ne stupid issue . .
anyways r0shni y0u are m0re imp0rtant then him la . .
den i r0shni and margret ended up trying t0 write using left hand
funny siak . .
den t00k train back h0me !
whee . . ..

was 0n the f0ne with mr stranger . .
i d0nt realli think l00ks matter
i admire him
and i am n0t g0in t0 care 0n wad pe0ple g0nna think ab0ut him !

2009-11-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

yesterday had phase test .
0kie teacher t0ld me 0ff . .
s0 i n0e that i am g0in t0 fail . .
but i cann0t be b0thered by it !
seri0usly !

01-11-2009

w0ke up 0nli at 12 plus . . den watched tv , bathed and g0t ready t0 meet twin . .
went t0 her h0use gave her the stuff . .
h0pe she likes it . . hmmph . .
den went 0ff t0 city hall . . walked ar0und . .
went t0 mac .
saw this arjun and taufik .
g0t really attracted t0 arjun . .
but din wan t0 say anything ab0ut it t0 twin . . haahs
den sat d0wn and talked . . we talked al0t .
den went t0 esplanade and r0unded ar0und . . den t00k back the red line . . 0nce again we talked al0t . . wahh . met her after 3 m0nths wad . .
hmm
IL0VEY0Utwins0ul !!

hmm . t0m0r0w is sk00l !
0nce again r0b0t life starts . cant wait f0r next sunday
cant wait t0 meet twin !!!

2009-10-30T10:44:00.000+08:00

30-0ct0ber-2009

in sch00l ryte n0w . . having behavi0ural science . .
hmmm . . yesterday 0n the way back h0me der was this indian guy wh0 was walking behind me .
he was 0n the f0ne ! he was talking t0 his girl . but he exactly s0unded like ravi . . .
he was sc0lding her like mad . . remindin her wad all they did t0gether . .
i n0e exactly h0w the girl w0uld have felt .
sighs . .
and it reminded me ab0ut the h0rrible past . . .

i jus d0nt wish t0 talk ab0ut it ryte n0w !
shall bl0g later at h0me !

2009-10-28T18:21:00.000+08:00

c0m was under maintenence !
n0w everythin is back t0 n0rmal !!!
sch00l is back and is g0ing great !!

28-0ct0ber-2009 [[wednesday]]

m0rnin while 0n the way t0 sch00l saw ghazali ! he said he had exam t0day . . s0 G00D LUCK ghazaliii !!!
den rushed t0 sch00l as had behavi0ural science class test t0day !!
was s0 scared as i d0nt n0e anything ab0ut it !
did the exam and sh0ckingly wen teacher went thr0ugh the papers i realised i actually passed !
yeahhh . . .
den lunch time . . . s0 i , aunty , r0shni , fatimah akka , margret and kirthi was eating lahh . den g0t these gr0up 0f malay guys sitting infr0nt 0f us . 0ne 0f the guys jus turned behing and 0ffered his f00d t0 us . was freaking embarrassing sehh . den they all started t0 laugh . den aunty talk back t0 dem . dey jus c0ntinued teasing her and us lahh . even wen aunty asked , whether dey w0uld behave like tat t0 thier mum , dey jus c0ntinued t0 laugh . . n0 manners at all !! we were in unif0rm ., if n0t i d0nt n0e what w0uld have happened . . .
after that was clinical nursing prac . . was practising f0r phase test . . mdm ler i g0t t0 say that i 0we y0u a big thx . th0ugh y0ur style 0f teaching can be irritating , i must admit that it is f0r 0ur 0wn g00d !
haahasss .
den sch00l was 0ver !!! trriiiinggg !!!! packed bag and left t0 tanah merah !
sm0ked and t00k train back h0me . was talking t0 fatimah akka . . haahas . funny lah she ..
den in the train saw indian guys all !!! as usual '' check it 0ut '' haahas . .
den n0w back h0me . freaking b0red sial . 0ni i and kirthi chatting . . sstupid tiger dun0 g0 whr . . n0 0ne t0 entertain me
:((((((
will update s00n 0kiiess !

2009-06-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

t0day acc0mpanied kirthi , uma and margret t0 put thier injecti0n at sch00l . after that we headed 0ff t0 khatib t0 cut my hair . the guy damn g00d lah . haahas . den i , uma and kirthi went t0 s0me v0id deck and sat there lah . we were actually waiing f0r mr ram[uma fren] t0 c0me . den dun0 wad happen , he din c0me lah . den we waitin f0r mr jude [kirthi fren] . while waiting, darshan called me . and i was t0kin lah . but since my prepaid has n0 free inc0min , kirthi asked him t0 cal uma f0ne . den as usual uma started t0kin which made me s0 jeal0us .he is mine lah !
mine mine mine !!!!!!!

haahas . i actually realised i like him al0t lah
sighs .
deepest secret has been revealed !

miss twin , i w0uld like y0u t0 n0e tat y0u are my best fren . i l0ve y0u fr0m deep d0wn . y0u n0e tat t00 ! but i jus wan t0 take this chance
t0 tell y0u that i really l0ve y0u . we b0th 0nli had misunderstanding wen we had a third party in 0ur life . 0ther den tat we d0nt even fight 0ver guys . we have imagined t0 the extreme and rehearsed t00 . we shall jus wait f0r the day t0 happen .

2009-06-04T20:58:00.000+08:00

When ur life is in darkness pray 2 God ask him 2 free u frm darkness & after if u pray & u r still in darknessplease pay ur ELECTRICITY BILL

In ur life, when u wake up & don't see any 1, then come 2 me, I'll b there 2 hold ur hand & take u 2 da EYE SPECIALIST

haaahas . jus f0r laughs .
anyways back h0me . was super late f0r nafah t0day . din get t0 d0 the 2.4 km . but g0t t0 d0 the 0ther five stai0ns . did 0kay lah . laeft the runing 0nli . sighs . g0t t0 g0 ack next tuesday t0 d0 . t0day acc0mpanied miss fathimah t0 d0 her hair at t0a pay0h . must admit that she l00ked g00d . haahas
i 0s0 wan t0 cut my hair !!!

s00n s00n s00n !!

2009-06-02T21:22:00.000+08:00

its all my fault .
i jus wana g0 back in time and change everything .
d0 i really deserve all this humilati0n ?
and i wen th0rugh all the way jus f0r y0u .
and dis is wad i get in dhe end .
my health is sp0iled , thankks t0 y0u
my past was a tragedy , thanks t0 y0u
and future is a questi0n mark , ALS0 thanks t0 y0u .
wad am i t0 d0 n0w ?
mem0ries are jus killing me . chills r0ll d0wn the spine wen i think ab0ut th0se abuses .
everythin is in my heart .
and dey are n0t buried yet .
still burning in anger waiting f0r revenge .
i will see the day y0u whr y0u are standing in the streets suffering .
but y0u wil nvr change den t00 .
tears r0ll d0wn gently .
w0unds will nvr heal .
and i will nvr f0rget y0u .
f0r what y0u have d0ne t0 me is jus causing plain pain !

2009-05-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

back fr0m sch00l !
quite tired sia . g0na sleep s00n !
kinda miss my hp . n0 prepaid !! can0t msg msg !

i miss being pampered !!
i wan a bf !
lol
but h0nestly d0nt even wan t0 think ab0ut it . cause its all fake .
jus miss being in l0ve .
get freaking jeal0us wen i see c0uple in trains cuddling up
but n0t w0rth it .
haaahas

s0 mr nick y0u birthday is c0min s00n !
s0 whr are y0u ?

22 m0re days t0 18 !!!

waiting waitin waitin

2009-05-23T14:04:00.000+08:00

its saturday aftern00n , and i jus w0ke up . 2 m0re weeks 0f sch00l ! am i supp0sed t0 be happy ? 0r am i supp0sed t0 bad sad . n0rt sure . sighs . n0w 0nli i am likingt0 g0 sch00l but its g0nna end s00n .f0r the past wh0le week , rishikaysen has been the h0t t0pic . haaahas . he n0e already lah . thx t0 my reacti0ns and my w0nderful friends . lol . .

tat pic t00k me five days t0 c0mplete . haahas . s0 b0red ended up d0in that during less0n time . next week i shall upl0ad a new f0t0 . an0ther 5 days 0f art piece ! haahas .

sch00l is kinda busy . everyday i get back h0me 9 plus . sleep straightaway . wake up next m0rnin 5 plus and leave t0 sch00l . hmm .

recently g0t cl0se with margret and knew l0ts 0f things ab0ut her . i am feeling superb sad ab0ut her , cause i went th0rugh the same thing and i kn0w h0w it hurts deep d0wn . d0nt w0rry babe .
uma birthday is t0m0r0w . n0rt sure whether we celebrating ant . see h0w lah .
and kirthi y0u are 0ne cute girl lah can . haaahas . y0u d0nt b0ther wad ppl think ab0ut wen y0u give th0se weird weird reacti0ns . l0l . jus l0ve t0 sing with y0u . haahas .
the indian clique is back . and its taking 0ver the class . mdm p0h l0ves us ryte n0w . l0l .

later might meet farhana . if meet i s0 want t0 eat chinese r0jak can . haaahas .

the wind is bl0wingand its feeling super c0ld . wished y0u were here ryte beside me . but the th0ught 0f y0u sends chills d0wn the spine . i jus dun get 0ne thin . i l0ved y0u al0t . s0 why are y0u hurting me n0w like dis ? can y0u jus leave my life like tat . pls . i beg y0u ! the rec0rding tat y0u are playing 0nli hurts me m0re . i d0nt even want t0 hear y0ur v0ice . i d0nt even want t0 think ab0ut y0u !

g0 away mr ex !

2009-05-20T17:10:00.000+08:00

n0w in sch00l . .
having LLA . .
d0ne the test . g0t 78.95 % . . . c00l uh .
haahas . t0kin 0n the f0ne with mr.DARSHAN . . .
margret is standing behind me !!!!!!!
ie lurve nithiyah..[lily cutiie]

he s0unds s0 gayish ... m0m0 all . .
gtg . bye .

2009-05-18T20:51:00.000+08:00

back t0 sch00l hmmph . . week 6 already .
gtting 0kay with sch00l life already . starting t0 like the envir0nment ar0und me . especially the frens . all are damn c00l . i l0ve t0 g0 sch00l with margret , slack with r0shni , sight adikaran with kirthin and t0k crap with uma . damn c00l siak . .
s0 fun wen we all g0 back h0me 0s0 .

g0t 0ne big eye f0r dis guy in sch00l !!
RISHIKAYSEN

shall update m0re end 0f dis week . n0 time .

2009-05-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

s0 many things t0 update s0 far . 0kie . firstky i b0ught a new hp . its quite c00l 0s0 . tat means i g0t new number alrdy ! hmmm . . . yesterday chab0ted sk00l t0 meet praba and farhana . praba damn nice lah . s0 wan a guy like him . mr mahen called . syed caled . l0l !

but right n0w i am n0t in dhe m00d . damn irritated . i called farhana at 6 plus thinkin she will be at h0me . in dhe end she was with kavina . at causeway . i g0t freaking jeal0us and angry . i mean y0ur sk00l finish at 4 and y0u are still with her , even i came back h0me . f0ught with her and t0ld her i d0nt like it . den the thing 0kay alrdy . but den few h0urs later , i was watching ayan . s0 g0t super excited and called farhana t0 tell my imaginati0ns . end up n0w 0nli she g0in back h0me . still can say i very sarcastic . i mean 0f c0s i will be ryte . i called s0 happily and g0t freaking fucked up and hung up the f0ne . den started reading her bl0g , and saw her lil baby f0t0 . and y0u even shared y0ur imaginati0ns with her ah . and that bitch 0s0 still can get excited f0r it lah . i n0e she y0ur sk00l fren , but i have nvr shared my imaginati0ns with my classmates . infact i dun0 even 0pen up my pers0nal life t0 dem .but its diff n0w ryte . fine ah . take it tat i am being t00 unreas0nable 0r wateva lah . i dun b0ther 0kie . i am like dis and y0u very well n0e tat . i h0nestly n0t g0in t0 find f0r y0u f0r the next few days . lets see whether y0u b0ther t0 find me an0t . i bet y0u 0nli sat y0u will msg me . c0s y0u always n0e tat i eventually find f0r y0u ryte , m0st t0 m0st y0u will send 0ne msg asking wad i d0in . but t00 bad ms twin . i am super duper angry n0w . t0m0r0w i g0nna share my imaginati0ns with my classmates . and lets see whether y0u are happy reading dis an0t . and get it ! even if ravi c0mes and kill me 0r s0methin happens i am n0t g0in t0 find f0r y0u f0r the next few days . y0u made me jeal0us and angry ryte . dis is the result . and i n0e y0u have d0uble eg0 . and i n0e very well tat y0u will n0t find me . i will defintly call y0u in a few days tym c0s i am a l0ser wad . wadeva the case is i stil l0ve y0u wad . but revenge wil be a revenge !

jeal0usy 0r p0ssesive ??
y0u have always been mine and i can nvr let any 0ther bitch jus t0 snatch y0u like tat !

2009-05-10T10:41:00.000+08:00

am g0in such a difficult time ryte n0w . sighs . saw mr ex ytd . the st0ry g0es like dis :
. snarched my f0ne
.deleted my pics , c0ntacts and msgs
. br0ke my f0ne int0 half
.t00k my mem0ry card
.br0ke my simcard
.kicked me
.and said s0rry
.and asked me n0t t0 leave him .

and m0re happened . i jus d0nt wana share it . very very depressed . i am really thinkin 0f s0methin . if i d0 tat i will be s0 peaceful . my family w0uld lead a peaceful life .
and my bestfren w0uld be much relieved . but i am afraid t0 d0 it . all my imaginati0ns , happiness w0uld be g0ne . i am 0nli 17 . haven even turn 18 yet . yet i am suffering s0 much and n0t 0nli me , but my bestfren has t0 suffer al0ng t00 with me .
i am s0rry farhana . maybe y0u sh0uld jus st0p t0kin t0 me , s0 that things will be much better . i dun dare say tat t0 y0u c0s i n0e i wil die with0ut t0kin t0 y0u . y0u y0urself n0e h0w much i l0ve y0udi . tears jus dr0p aut0 wen i think ab0ut y0u and him . wad wr0ng did i d0 lah . why mus i sufer like dis di . babu . i will nvr f0rget y0u in my life . f0e landing me in such state . thanks br0 . s0 far everythin is quiet n0w . i am n0rt sure wen is the next tsunami g0nna 0c0ur . but all i can say is tat i am very tired . i can feel tat my heart is weak . i am super scared . n0rt sure wat is g0nna happen next . the next bl0w w0uld be a hard 0ne and i have clearly decided tat i will d0 tat s0methin which i am thinking ab0ut thr0ugh 0ut last wh0le night . if i were t0 be g0ne , dis w0uld be my last few p0sts which w0uld be very mem0rable . and everytime the h0usef0ne rings , myheart beats fast . i have bec0me quieter . and i m g0na be like dis . i d0nt want anym0re frens .
in dhe end the name tat i g0t : d0ke !

2009-05-07T15:06:00.000+08:00

M0nday : sch00l life is killing me seri0usly !!!

Tuesday : went t0 sch00l as usual . sighs . came back h0me . recieved a msg fr0m an unkn0wn number . called the pers0n and realised it was kumaran . the last i t0ked t0 him was a year back . bef0re he wentinside . like s0 fated lahh . was s0 happy . tat night itself s0methin s0methin happened . but i 0s0 played al0ng with it .

Wednesday : had bi0 test . hmm . after tat i chab0t lla . haahas . went t0 meet kumaran at bugis . went t0 s0me playgr0und . the c00lest part was tat the playgr0und was built in HDB flat 0n the f0urth st0rey lahh . den s0me0ne m00d 0ut already s0 came back h0me .

Thursday : t0day !! din g0 sch00l . went t0 meet kumaran . at veerasamy r0ad . c00l lah the place . den wen t0 his h0use . wah his d0g super big but damn cute siak . i s0 want it lah can . came back h0me awhile ag0 . waiting t0 meet twin later .

s0 many things running in my mind . every0ne is c0nnected s0meh0w . but why cant i find jus the tw0 00f dem . NICK&SHIEKH !!!
whr the hell are y0u guys . i am like hunting y0u all f0r the past 4 years . sighs . c0me t0 us fast !!!

2009-05-03T19:58:00.000+08:00

the m0vie kal00ri was a nice 0ne indeed . end part 0nli quite sad lah .
wished it was a happy ending
anyways was supp0sed t0 meet classmates . in dhe end plan c0ck up .
sighs . s0 am jus r0tting at h0me .
hmm . MrEX msged again . guess s0me0ne is missing me . haahas .
kinda miss th0se happy times .
but der are m0re sad m0ments 0nli .
i can nvr f0rget all th0se w0rds y0u used 0n me .
dinesh like s0 c00l lahh . he like realli l0ve his ex lah .
and his v0ice is damn nice seh . grrr
especialy wen he sings the venmegham s0ng al . melting sial .
jegan is like s0 irritating .
i caled him .
and kinda pissed me 0ut ,
haahas .
but still kinda addicted t0 him
but f0r him all can0t wad . must be high standard . sighs .
nvm . still g0t 0ther ppl t0 wash eyes .
hate the fact tat der is sk00l 2m0r0 . dreading siak .
0000h . g0t t0 g0 . dinesh calling . haahas .
shall update t0m0r0w
NITHIYAAA :DDD

2009-05-02T21:21:00.000+08:00

she's back h0me . and i d0nt like the feeling . i was using the h0use f0ne t0 t0k t0 dinesh . and she was like wh0 is g0nna pay the bill all .
i realli wanna gr0w up and live 0n my 0wn .
i am sure i will nvr regret . jus n0w met twin . and i felt superb g00d t0kin t0 her lah . wen it was time f0r her t0 leave , i realli din wan her t0 leave .
life will be s0 much betta wen y0u are living al0ne . with n0 w0rries .
dis pe0ple treating me like an 0utsider . next m0nth grandparents g0in away .
i am very sure things will be freaking w0rse . the auny and she will take 0ver the h0use .
i wana stay in a h0stel . seri0usly whr i have m0re freed0m . whr pe0ple will respect my feelings .

trust me . th0usand and milli0ns 0f s0rr0ws are hidden behind that smile . i jus wana f0rget everything . i am 0nli 17 . but i haf suffered al0t . and al0t means al0t .
Mr EX al0ne is en0ugh .
he stilll msgs me .
wad m0re y0u want fr0m me ? arent y0u happy en0ugh . sch00l life is kiling me . family . i have n0 c0mments . m0ney speaks . 0nli m0ney .

i am jus waiting f0r the ryte time . till den i will jus smile ar0und . like everythin is alryte .
whr ppl wished they had a life like mine . carefree .
the s0rr0ws will be deeply buried inside .
sm0kedrinkclub

2009-05-02T11:57:00.000+08:00

m0rning itself was a very bad 0ne . was w0ken up by mm and was accucsed 0f stealing a simcard . i f0und the simcad in her cupb0ard and jus threw right infr0nt 0f her face .
c0me 0n lah . i alrdy hate y0u s0 much . y0u are 0nli making me hate y0u m0re . i started crying in anger .
the aunty came and c0mf0rted me . she was telling me s0 much 0f stuff . and den 0nli i realised everything . the w0rld is simply selfish . every0ne . n0 0ne is excepti0n .
i like came t0 my senses .
its time i t00 bec0me selfish .
s0rry guys but y0u will hate the new me .
daddy whr are y0u ?
if 0nli y0u are here .
i w0uldnt have landed myself in dis state !
sighs . i really miss y0u daddy !
th0ugh i hate y0u , the inner me wants t0 see y0u badly .
if y0u were here , maybe right n0w we w0uld have g0ne t0 fishing . sighs . wen will y0u c0me back ?

and my twin . i am s0rry .
i am d0in s0mething behind y0ur back . and it makes me feel s0 guilty . but i d0nt want y0u t0 n0e it c0s y0u wil be very angry with mie .
but its n0t my fault !
everytym wen i dun wan t0 d0 it , s0meh0w ppl 0utside 0r at h0me makes mie d0 it .
i n0e its very wr0ng .
but i am s0rry twin .
the first time i am hiding s0methin fr0m y0u !
f0rgive me deii !

its 12.05 pm . s0 b0ring siak . .
g0nna g0 watch tv .

wil c0me back later and update 0kies . .
:D

2009-05-01T21:04:00.000+08:00

c0mpleted 3 weeks 0f sch00l s0 far .
still g0t 4 weeks m0re.
in the start , i realli liked the sch00l al0t . but i am starting t0 hate sch0l life ryte n0w .
its all due t0 the rules lah .
f0r an example i g0t sc0lded by the teacher jus bec0s i l00ked d0wn wen she was teaching .
like wad seh .
y0u mean i cant even l00k d0wn isit ?
its n0t as th0ugh i was usuing the hp 0r t0kin ryte .
sighs had a phase test ytd .
managed t0 pass it ,
m0st 0f my frens din make it thr0ugh .
but kirthi was the saddest part lah .
i am s0 s0rry f0r y0u dear .
i h0pe the hug gave y0u a beta c0mf0rt .
hmmm . .
s0cial life is t0tally damaged by sch00l life lah .
the timing itself is kiling me .
jus waiting f0r 4 weeks m0re .
mrsecretaffair is super weird .
haahas .
quite b0ring seh .
t0day wh0le day stayed at h0me .
hmm ,
h0pe atleast i g0 0ut t0m0r0w !!!!!

2009-05-01T19:51:00.001+08:00

Nithiyaahh